He Wants to Slow Our Relationship Down

When a man says, "I want to slow things down" what first comes to your mind? Exactly. It is very important that you have a clear idea of what you want in a relationship so if you find yourself in the following situation, you will not hesitate on a course of action.

Karen Asks Nancy for Relationship Advice:

My boyfriend of 3 months has said he wants to slow things down. I am 40 years old and he is 42 and he hasn’t had a relationship in 7 years.

He is finding it difficult to get back into a relationship mode. I have met his family and I’m very confused.

Does it mean he wants to end it? Also how slow is slow?

Nancy’s Relationship Advice:

Dear Karen,

Yes, it is very confusing to be on that side of a relationship. The way to end the confusion is to have a clear, to the point discussion with your boyfriend about his intentions for your relationship. I do not like to use generalization often, but many times when any man says he wants to slow things down, he really is saying I want to end the relationship.

If you talk to him and ask pointed questions and still receive vague answers, I encourage you to listen to your intuition and end the relationship. When a man introduces a woman to his family, our minds tell us that he is serious about a future. Many men do not see family introductions as a lead in to long term relationships.

The key component in this situation is you and your reaction to what has been communicated. I hope that you take a stand for what you really want in a relationship and if this man cannot give that to you, then you need to move forward so another door to love can open.

It is imperative to have a clear idea of what you want in a future committed relationship and not to compromise on the path to reaching those dreams and desires. If he tells you something such as: it’s him and he needs time to sort things out, I don’t know my deeper feelings, I don’t want to hurt you by leading you on, or words along those lines, I encourage you to not allow your mind to take grab hold of it and read something into these nothing words. This is not signals of hope for the future.

The right man will not want to slow things down. The right man will know you are a blessing from God and will not want to let you go.

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