Engagement Do's and Don'ts

Marriage Preparation Is More Important Than The Wedding

After a couple decides to officially become engaged to be married, the following are my suggestions toward making this stage in your relationship joyful and memorable.

What is the proper etiquette for announcing an engagement?

  • Do: Call or visit parents and close relatives first. Out of respect, they deserve to hear the news and share the excitement before a larger announcement.

  • Do: Contact good friends personally. Part of the fun is sharing the joy of the engagement with those you hold near and dear.

  • Don't: Make the announcement through social media for convenience sake. Inner circle individuals should be told personally first and then use social media to announce to acquaintances.

  • Don't: Feel obligated to immediately decide on a wedding date. Take the time to research where to get married and what time of year is best for your mutual schedules.

  • What steps should a couple take after an engagement?

  • Do: Enroll in a premarital counseling course. Ultimately, you are preparing for a marriage, not for the ceremony. It is vital that couples share common life and relationship goals, have similar spending and saving habits, agree on having children (or not) and most importantly, share in the commitment to individually and as a couple the desire to grow in faith.

  • Do: Discuss wedding plans as a couple. It is important to make it a memorable occasion, celebrating the way that is most comfortable to each of you.

  • Don't: Allow parents to make the wedding their day. Respectfully, from the start clearly focus on the plans you have made as a couple for the ceremony.

  • Don't: Allow pressure from relatives to influence what you want for the wedding. Everyone has their own ideal wedding in mind. Create memories that you cherish as a couple.

  • How can a couple prevent wedding preparations from taking over the relationship?

  • Do: Make it a team effort. No matter what the size of the wedding, the preparations can become overwhelming if only one person is doing all the work. Make it a shared project to alleviate the stress. After all, getting married should be fun!

  • Do: Continue mutually enjoyable activities. Do not forget to date while planning for the wedding. It is important to create other memories along the way. Make this not a time you both look back on as something you survived, but deepened the relationship connection.

  • Don't: Let the wedding be the only topic of conversation. Wedding planning can monopolize everything if a couple is not careful. Keep outside interests, friendships and quality time a high priority.

  • Don't: Forget to enjoy being engaged! Every relationship has stages it moves through and the special being in love with loving each other feeling is a beautiful time.

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