The Relationship Plan

Scripture Reference:
“Write the vision and engrave it so plainly upon tablets that everyone who passes may read it easily as he walks by. For the vision is yet for an appointed time. Habakkuk 2:2-3

Why Should I Have an Outline for Love?

The conscious mind requires a focal point of reference on what you want to achieve in life. A Relationship Plan is a tool to discipline your mind from straying from your dreams into negative territory and a powerful means to meet your relationship goals as it allows you to distinctly define your priorities and primary relationships. A clear vision of the person you want God to bring to you is necessary to maintain in your conscious mind. This process will allow God to open the ideal door for you in His perfect timing. There is no need to obsess over the date, place, and time. The main purpose of each day is to live with a positive attitude, knowing that you are one day closer to meeting that special person. Outlining all the significant relationships in your life is essential, as your core beliefs can be revealed anywhere. Generally you will see the highest manifestation in your intimate relationships, but those beliefs will also appear to varying degrees in your interactions at work, in friendships, and with family members.

The Relationship Plan is a definition of your relationship with God and your faith in His divine purpose for your life. It also serves as a visual guide for your conscious mind to see the type of person you desire for marriage. It is intended as a means to live your life fully, out of your vision of your “ideal self,” and to rely on God for His security and support to keep it ever-present.

The first step of the Relationship Plan describes your ideal self. The “Who I Am” section gives a declaration of self, much like a mission statement. It outlines the most significant realms of your life from which this self-described “self” emerges. Within each realm you will choose specific actions and describe their intended results, which will allow you to fully experience this vision of yourself in your present-day reality. As a result, you will cut the strings that define the “old” you and limit your life. You will learn to create and fulfill your own destiny in God’s perfect will and timing.

“Who I Am” Mission Statement
Imagine that you are talking to yourself as your own best friend, a friend who knows you inside and out. A friend who knows every fear, worry, painful event, and unhappy relationship outcome, and who knows what you truly desire. A friend who loves you and knows the life you want to lead.

What would that friend tell you? Write out the one statement that your “friend” sees as an overall view of your life, and create a mission statement to title this part of your Relationship Plan. Under that statement, list several brief sentences that sum up what that mission statement means to you and how it manifests in your life. Write each sentence in present-tense form: “I am” statements. This is imperative to create the perception in your mind of being this person right now.

Life Realms After composing your mission statement, draw an outline of the key realms of your life in which your new self materializes. Remember to keep your statements in the present tense.

My Life Realms:
1) Relationship with God
2) My Relationship Choices
3) Meaningful and Multifaceted Family Connections
4) Purposeful Career Parameters and Goals
5) My Authentic Self

Now it is time to address each of the Life Realms in detail and choose specific actions and their intended results. This mental picture will allow you to fully experience this vision of yourself in your present-day reality.

1) Relationship with God.
The first question to ask yourself is what you visualize when you think of the ideal connection with God. Write as if it already exists and concentrate on the feelings that come into your heart.

2) My Relationship Choices.
Imagine you are in the relationship of your dreams. In this section, describe what feelings come to mind in this ideal partnership. Expand on the eventuality of being married to the person God has chosen for you.

3) Meaningful and Multifaceted Family Connections.
Core beliefs begin with your parents. Imagine the negativity and issues you face with your family are no longer present. With that in mind, how would you relate to your parents and siblings? How would you relate to other family members who have fallen out of favor or have been neglected? Tap into those feelings and detail how you see that evolution as if it is happening right now.

4) Career Parameters and Goals
Are your career aspirations taking over your life? Do you strive for balance between work and your personal life only to find the demands of your goals trumping your personal time more and more? Jesus stressed the importance of balance in life and enjoying the gift of the present day. Leading a life dominated by secular success will not leave you room to pursue the most significant attachment in your life: the one with God. It is important to be clear first with yourself about the things that have priority in your life. This is the section to explain those boundaries and set the wheels in motion to realize a harmonious and balanced life.

5) My Authentic Self.
This section is a summary of the person you present to the world. It is the authentic you, without any pretense. You are unashamed of who you are and have a commitment to being this person from day to day, in every environment.

The Relationship Plan outlined above is a guideline for you to use to bring about your preferred life vision with the people around you. This process offers you the means to form an image of yourself on the other side of the relationship issues that challenge you now. I also like to include a special category that describes in detail the ideal person you want to attract into your life—from the characteristics he or she possesses to the feelings associated with that relationship. I encourage you to use this image to visualize the characteristics your future husband/wife will possess. God will bring the right person at the perfect time for you, but it is essential that you can identify that person when he or she arrives. The idea behind this method is to let go of the type of person you tend to attract (which continues the cycle you want to break) and direct your heart toward a person with loving, and admirable characteristics.

Relationship Exercise
Create a Relationship Plan using the above information as a guide. If you would like my assistance in creating a personalized Relationship Plan, please read more here:

Relationship Coaching