Can Our Long Distance Relationship Work?

Forming a solid foundation for a lasting relationship requires spending quality time together. You want to see each other's good days and bad days not only so you can get a true picture of each other's personality, but also to establish boundaries in the relationship.

Long distance makes this process difficult because when you do see each other in person, you are both on your best behavior. These types of relationships certainly can work if the distance is a temporary situation. Communication is extremely important as well as maintaining a high level of emotional intimacy with one another.

Read how Parker is challenged with this arrangement and my suggestions for drawing closer.

Parker Asks Nancy for Relationship Advice:

I have been in a relationship with my current girlfriend for about 10 months now. I’m sure she’s the one that I want to spend the rest of my life with but our relationship has recently changed dramatically.

Three months ago, she moved to Philadelphia from Toronto (where I live) for medical school. I hear Long Distance Relationships are hard, but on top of that I have to date a medical student.

It has been okay for the three months but it is starting to get ‘rocky.’ She’s having a hard time emotionally with me not being around and our communication seems to be breaking down with both of us busy with school. I do visit once or twice a month. Do have any advice that could help strengthen our relationship?

Nancy’s Relationship Advice:

Dear Parker,

Yes, long distance relationships are difficult and it does require an extra effort of clear communication and dedication to keep it from breaking down. It certainly is not impossible to make your relationship work as you both see this distance as a temporary situation. That said, it does appear that even with this knowledge that your girlfriend is having a hard time with the arrangement, despite your frequent visits.

If you truly believe she is the one you want to spend your life with, then I encourage you to explore the option of moving your studies to Philadelphia while she is attending medical school. If the roles were reversed and you were the one in medical school and she was in college in Canada, I would be asking her to make the move since I realize that medical school is not as easy to transfer as other degrees.

Is this a huge sacrifice on your part? Yes, it is so that is why you both need to make sure you are on the same page in this relationship. Is she as committed to you as you are to her? Do you both agree on marriage in the future to each other? Your relationship is very young and it is important to look beyond the attraction and examine the foundation of your connection.

Life is definitely about relationships and finding the person you want to marry early on is a huge blessing and not to be taken lightly. I encourage making each other the top priority in your lives. When you choose love, the rest of the desires of your heart will always follow.

Many times we have a set idea of how our life should unfold and more times than not, life goes in another direction. When you are open to the intangibles such as love, I assure you that life will have more meaning and fulfillment than you can ever imagine.

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