My Wife Wants to Leave

Is your marriage to the point of no return? Does your spouse want out and is not open to working on saving the relationship? Read how Scott's control issues ignited a chain reaction in his marriage that led to a seemingly hopeless situation. The good news is that with God, any circumstance in your life can be turned around for good through Jesus' amazing redemption power.

Scott Asks Nancy for Relationship Advice:

My wife told me she wants out of our marriage. She says she doesn’t love me anymore. We have been married for 18 years and I don’t want to lose her. We have become more distant. I admit I have control issues in which I’ve sought help to overcome.

For a long time, I haven’t felt loved wanted or needed. I love her more than anything and I don’t want her to shut me out. She said she’s done and doesn’t want to work on our marriage at all. I don’t know where to start on how to get her to change her mind.

Nancy’s Relationship Advice:

Dear Scott,

As you have learned, the only person anyone is capable of changing is ourselves. The best advice I or your counselor can offer is to work on the areas of your personality which have contributed to the demise of your marriage.

After 18 years, your relationship is definitely worth fighting for, even though your wife does not agree with you right now. I do know that the emotional work you do right now will reap rewards for you in the future if you are diligent towards applying new principles to the way you interact with others.

People who want to control others act out of fear and it is when you get to the root of that fear that you can experience true and lasting love. The more you work to break down those barriers to love, you will find that you relate to your wife in a more positive manner, which over time may bring a change of heart towards saving your relationship. The saying, “Talk is cheap” aptly applies to saving any relationship. Those you love are looking for change in YOU and will believe in that change when you exhibit new behavior.

No matter what happens, I encourage you to seek out God and stand on the promise in Romans, “All things work together for good to those who love the Lord.” Many times those things such as the ending of a marriage do not seem like good things, but I do know that everything that happens in life can and will be turned into a positive experience if you allow yourself to trust in His way and will for your life.

Surrender to Jesus may be very difficult because it is not an area you can control. However, I do know that you can and will reap so many rewards when you stand strong in faith and do your part to heal.



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