My Friend is Cheating on Her Husband

Infidelity is a very serious matter within a marriage. It means communication has broken down to the point of first trying to fill the emotional void outside the marriage, and then sadly crossing the line to a physical affair.

Marriage vows are sacred and if broken, can be repaired if both spouses are willing to work towards that goal. Donna has found herself in the middle of her friend's affair and wants to know how to preserve her relationship.

Donna Asks Nancy for Relationship Advice:

My best friend is cheating on her husband and she has told me about the affairs. She’s also used me as an alibi.

Her husband wants to preserve the marriage and asked to speak with me. I value our friendship, and know she is unhappy in her marriage and wants a divorce.

What do I do?

Nancy’s Relationship Advice:

Dear Donna,

The best gift you can give your friend is to back off and not get involved in their marriage. Kindly tell her husband that you value both their friendships and understand that the person he needs to speak to is his wife. No matter what your friend has told you, the only two people who truly understand the marriage is the two people involved.

You will be in a terrible position if you decide to be his confidant it will seriously strain your friendship. It was absolutely wrong that your friend used you as an alibi for her affair and I believe it is important that you stand your ground and clearly communicate to her that you will not cover for her in the future.

Marriages that have reached this breaking point have had smaller signals of discontent along the way. It is vital to stay in sync with one another and to work on your marriage daily. A happy, fulfilling relationship does not happen automatically and does require a committed effort of both spouses.

When one person feels neglected and taken for granted over a long time, eventually many people seek others for an emotional connection. I do not believe these spouses set out to have physical affairs, but end up so starved for connection and attention that they fall into this trap.

If you are in a marriage that is growing more distant, I encourage you to act now and speak up. It is easy to get caught in a routine and have long periods of not really talking with one another and not really seeing one another. In other words, taking each other for granted.

Proverbs says that he who finds a wife finds a good thing. Her value is more than rubies. Husbands, if you treat your wife as the valuable and precious gift from God that she is, then I confidently say that you will be rewarded with a loving, satisfying and fulfilling marriage.

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